Let’s face it, we all hear voices! Not in a Stephen King kind of way, but in an Abbott and Costello “angel on one shoulder, devil on the other” whispering in our ear kind of way. Some days, when things were really looking dark, I had so many voices that it felt like I had the Vienna Boys Choir in my head! There were voices of blame, doubt, anger, frustration, hopelessness and fear to name a few of the boys. It’s not that I heard them with my ears, but I sure felt them in my body, mind and spirit.

My realization began with an awareness that these voices were always chatting it up and effecting my life in profound and limiting ways. I was coming up with convoluted stories to justify my voices and the feelings they produced.

When a vendor, who we had worked with for 20 years and had become a good friend, would call to follow-up for a payment, my voice of judgement, shame and pain kicked in and I found myself angry at him. I tuned in and heard those voices saying;

“for all of the business I have given him over the years! Damn him for his lack of patience, concern and support. He is so selfish for not caring about anything but money. He doesn’t even deserve a call back. Screw him and his friendship!”

What I have learned since then is to honor those voices, but turn to seek others. Today, my voice of wisdom, reason and compassion would say;

“he was generous enough to give me credit in the first place. He must be worried and struggling in this horrific economy that we both face. He is an ally, not an enemy. I am willing to show humility and vulnerability and tell him where I stand. He is a good man and might have ideas to help, or at least I know he will respect my honesty.”

Seeking the voices that serve and empower me creates a monumental shift for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Unlike Abbott and Costello, I have come to realize that my voices do not come from either the angels in me versus the devil in me. Rather, they come from that part of me that is painfully wounded, struggling, frustrated and afraid versus the part of me that flows from wisdom, compassion, reason, and dare I say love. I may need to search for that part of me, but I know it exists and is at the ready to empower and guide me through whatever “we” are facing.