What do donuts, pornography, and social media have in common?

Let’s start with donuts. Sugar, flour, deep fried and you guessed it, rolled in sugar. When it comes to feeling nutritionally satiated, donuts do not trigger the “off switch”. We can eat a dozen donuts and the switch does not get triggered. Most foods void of nutrition have this in common and plays a big part in our country’s sugar addiction and skyrocketing diabetes statistics.

But what does this have to do with pornography and social media?

All of these things: donuts, pornography and social media are consumed to fill a void. Porn scratches the itch (no pun intended) for intimacy without vulnerability. There is an epidemic among American males between the ages of 15-25 who are addicted to watching porn. Porn is as accessible as checking the weather! The outcome has been a generation of young males who have dysfunctional sexual relations with their significant other. The addiction is the result of what is missing from this habit. In fact, what brought them there in the first place—as hunger brought them to the donuts—does nothing to fill that void because it is lacking nutrition or feeding of what is desired which is intimacy.

Porn is devoid of the very features sought after by its audience. There is no tactile or sensory satisfaction, no warmth or intimacy, so the viewer keeps coming back to fill this desire but to no avail.

This brings us to the fallacy of Facebook. Some are addicted to the attention that “likes” and “shares” bring in that moment. The fact is that all social media lacks the deep social connection, the warm touch that comes from someone else that completely loves us just as we are in that instant. Yet, we are drawn to social media to fill that void, the very thing our souls crave! Again, it is flawed.

We are hooked in trying to squeeze something out of this experience that will never be. There is no “off switch”, thus we are never satiated. In fact, we are starved nutritionally or emotionally. It is like pumping gas into our tanks. At the point that our tank is full, it automatically clicks off. If that gas pump was pumping only air, we could be there until the cows come home and it would not shut down or click off.

Then there is the guilt and shame of our obsession from these fruitless addictions. So how do we break these cycles? Ask yourself the question, “How can I change these behaviors in a way that my needs and desires are being satisfied?” With awareness and clarity, we can find pathways to upgrade our habits and tap into your joy!